20th September
Front page photo of Truss boarding a plane to fly to New York. Can we hope she purchased a one way ticket? No such luck. She is heading to the UN to promise ongoing financial support for Ukraine. Will PMs never learn that they might fancy a fling at global politics, but it’s what’s happening back here that’s more important politically.
There was a burglary on the estate last night. Someone broke into a house at about 2am, while the owners were asleep, got hold of their car keys, stole the car, dumped it and set fire to it. The police came round asking if anyone had any video footage from their door bells.
I went out cycling at lunchtime. Someone had reported an injured swan on the lake and the RSPCA were out looking for it.
King Charles has returned to Balmoral. Thankfully that was the only piece of royal news on TV. There were a few items related to the funeral. The man who was arrested whilst trying to pull the flag from the coffin in Westminster Hall said he wanted to check that the Queen was in there. He has been watching too many YouTube videos.
There’s a mini budget on Friday, although the news said they had been told not to call it that, but they couldn’t come up with a better name.
The people at number 30 are having their garden landscaped. It’s been three weeks of dust, the rumble of the cement mixer, endless comments about the ‘fucking weather’ from the builders, the ear piercing cutting of paving slabs, and Radio 2.
Centre piece of the creation will be a man-sized reproduction of Michelangelo’s David. There was a disagreement about the placing or not of a fig leaf. ‘It is an accurate reproduction’, said John, who is a professor at Edinburgh University, ‘and not a Victorian copy disfigured by the prudery of that age’. Michael his partner, at least ten years younger (and the rest), thought that it should stay covered. ‘Someone’s going to complain about their kids going to school and being scarred for life at the sight of David’s genitals. And anyway, if it were a faithful copy, it would be at least seventeen feet tall.’
The statue has yet to appear and I doubt if it will judging by the comments on the Facebook page. Bin Laden would receive a better welcome than the statue of a naked man.
Made an appointment at Spec-savers for ear wax removal, only because I had been to Boots for a hearing test and that was their recommendation.
Bought a copy off John Boyne’s latest book, All the Broken Places. It’s a sequel to The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas, which I didn’t much like. Eleven pounds from Sainsbury’s, ten pounds from ASDA, but I couldn’t be bothered walking round.
Checked the price of Lurpak online. £3.50 in ASDA, £5 in Sainsbury’s. I should have taken that walk.
One Pagers 