13th September
I had started writing this to record news and impressions about Liz Truss (I was about to say Lizard Liz but this has been taken already) and her first 100 days. Where is Liz? Currently lying at rest in St Giles Cathedral. No, not that Liz. The other one. The Prime Minister.
Popped up to the zoo at lunchtime for a walk around. Glad I bought an annual ticket. The Artic wolves area. It’s huge. At least an acre of hilly, wooded land. Two white wolves were pacing round. A man and woman with a buggy and a small girl were standing together. The girl was licking a tigers head shaped lollipop. The man said something I couldn’t hear, to which there was a loud, exasperated reply from the woman.
“Fine. If ye want a dug git a bloody dug. Am no clearin up efter it. You’ll clear up its shite.”
The other Liz is no longer lying at rest in Scotland. Her coffin was transferred to a plane, flying out of Edinburgh airport, heading to London. The plane flew over the village. It felt quite emotional seeing it. I don’t know why.
The Edinburgh heckler is to be charged with disturbing the peace and a court appearance is planned. What a complete and utter waste of time and money. Surely issuing him with a warning would have been better, quicker and fairer than what’s sure to turn into a three ring circus about free speech and democratic rights.
In the house opposite my last one, one family constantly flew the Irish tricolour from one of the bedrooms, played music loudly from morning till dusk, and smoked weed, in between having family parties in the back garden and singing Irish republican songs (mainly I suspect to annoy the neighbour who was a Rangers supporter and displayed the Union Jack – well, at least that would come in handy under current circumstances). I think even half of any of that would count as disturbing the peace. Not a chance. No police action (too busy earning overtime in Edinburgh standing on the Royal Mile persecuting loud mouthed twenty-two year olds).
There were two teenagers in the COOP discussing the royals. One of them said that the queen was not actually in the coffin. ‘Think about it. Her body would roll around all over the place and get pretty bashed up as they moved her around the country. They have driven her to London in another car and they’ll put her back in the coffin before the funeral.’
I also learned from them that for twelve pounds fifty pence you could have had your photograph taken at St Giles with the coffin (the empty one) in the background.
It’s easy to understand how fake news gets circulated.
And it’s official. We all have the bank holiday on Monday and most businesses seem to be closing. Even Sainsbury’s did a U-turn.
So by the end of today Liz (the Queen) and Liz (the PM) have one thing in common.
They are both in London.
One Pagers 