The Tree

This is the story of the tree that made the bench.

Not long ago there was someone who identified as a woman.

The woman came from a far away land – although if you had lived there, it would not have been far or away.

Her name was Sarah Sparkle.

On holiday she met an English/British person who identified as a man and they fell in love.

It would also have been okay if she had met a woman and they had fallen in love – except that’s not what happened.

The man’s name was Henry, and he was a prince, although a rather unhappy one.

Henry’s grandparents were HM and HRH.

HM and HRH were known as ‘The Firm’ (not to be confused with the book written by John Grisham or the film starring Tom Cruise).

To be a member of ‘The Firm’ you had to be born royal or married to one – it was a very exclusive club.

‘The Firm’ were thrilled that Henry had fallen in love – or at least that’s what it said in the newspapers, TV, radio, blogs, podcasts, Facebook, and Twitter. So it had to be true.

Sarah and Henry planned to get married in Windsor castle, in the town of Windsor in England.

The castle stood next to a Great Park (think of the park in your village or town and then multiply its size by about 1000 or more).

There were lots of trees in the park and one that was VERY special.

Henry called it THE WINDSOR OAK (I put all of that in capitals to show how important the tree was – and not because caps lock was stuck on my keyboard).

It was the biggest and oldest tree in the park.

Henry said it was his ‘family tree’ because its branches reminded him of all the different members of the royal family.

It was under the branches of this tree that Prince Henry asked Sarah Sparkle to marry him.

She said ‘yes, yes, yes’ and that was how she became a royal princess.

Their wedding in Windsor was amazing (although much later they would say they had been married at another ceremony before this, but no-one could remember that happening). She looked brilliant. He looked very happy. There were lots of famous people in the church. There were even more un-famous people cheering and waving flags outside. The sky was blue. The sun was shining. The world’s TV cameras and press were there.

It really was a jolly event.

Not long afterwards Princess Sarah got herself an axe.

Day by day she would sharpen it.

Little by little she would chop away at the Windsor Oak until it eventually fell crashing to the ground. The TV cameras were there to record this. It was all very operatic in scale. You can pay to watch it, although there are free edited highlights on the BBC.

Sarah collected the wood and had it made into a bench.

She had the bench shipped to the city of Los Angeles in the far away land.

Nowadays Sarah and Henry sit on the bench, in the very big garden of their very big fifteen bedroom mansion, admiring the view (when it’s not hidden behind the smoke from the burning forest fires).

And that’s the story of the tree that made the bench.

The beginning (and not the end) of many more tales to come.